Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I Miss You, Sebastian

I have intentionally prolonged the posting of this update, mostly for my sake. I have sometimes questioned whether I would ever be ready to write about this, and though I do believe I am still in need of further emotional healing, I have decided to undertake writing this post for your reading in spite of it.
Before I begin recounting this heart-wrenching tragedy, I would like for you to really get to know who Sebastian was and what he meant to me. I hope that upon finishing reading this perhaps lengthy post, you will, to some degree, see Sebastian through my eyes - as a unique, irreplaceable individual with a sweet soul.
When I brought Sebastian home in January 2013, I was unaware of how that tiny ball of irresistible fuzz would touch and change my life. Early on I discovered his notable ear for music as I plucked a song on my guitar one day and little Sebastian laid next to it on the couch, listening intently. I made it our evening routine, after his long, eventful days of intense play and terrorizing the house, to sit back on the couch with the guitar. There was no feeling so warm and satisfying as watching those content, burgundy eyes gradually close as Sebastian drifted off into a sleep while I played for him. There are many moments in life that you wish would last a lifetime; those evenings certainly could be categorized as such.
Bringing Sebastian out of his cage in the mornings always resulted in me being buried with his affectionate weasel kisses, usually on my nose. It was not uncommon for him to make a flying leap from the upper shelf of his cage into the refuge of my arms. He subsequently transformed himself into a scarf by wrapping his slender body around my neck, and while perched on my shoulders he would proceed to cover my ears and cheeks with more kisses. This roost that my shoulders served as always remained Sebastian's favourite hangout. Several times each day the sound of his pitiful ferret-whimper was audible and I would feel his paws against my legs as he begged for a ride, pleading with his beady, sparkling eyes. Occasionally he napped there, although most of the time he refused to miss out on the excitement surrounding him.
A daily ritual of ours was taking a stroll out to the field for burrow-digging, and quite often, Nana or Kaiser would accompany us to partake in the activity. The determination that powered Sebastian's short forepaws as he clawed at the earth was quite entertaining. His perseverance paid off, and before long his burrow became remarkably impressive. Each day he lengthened and perfected it, and during his breaks he would dook and "war-dance" around his masterpiece. His burrow came to be roughly one foot deep and three feet long.
Each day, of course, was spent racing through the house, chasing Nana or Kaiser, or stashing various objects that tickled his fancy - Nana's toys, food dishes larger than himself, the dust pan, water bottles, cash and receipts, wallets, socks, gloves, shoes and other footwear, Nana's tail (or so he tried), etc.  I was provided with daily amusement observing which objects he found of particular value, and watching where he hid them was sometimes equally amusing. On one occasion, I witnessed little Sebastian attempting to purloin the big dog bed and hide it in a closet like a master criminal. As you can probably guess, the hilarity of the event prevented me from immediately reclaiming his loot. I decided to utilize his "stashing" instinct and taught him to tidy up his toys on cue, placing them all in a fuzzy basket I bought for the purpose. It was a trick that never failed to incite smiles and laughter in visitors.
I always admired Sebastian's social nature, especially with other animals. Sebastian and Paris (the largest of my rats) were the most unique and exceptional pair, for the two shared an incredible inter-species relationship. Paris resembled a little hair stylist as she meticulously groomed and cleaned the unruly hairs on Sebastian's back, while he of course continued to explore his surroundings. Kaiser was Sebastian's chief play-mate. It was with Kai that he would engage in all of his intense wrestling matches with Nana playing the role of the referee. Needless to say, Sebastian was always the victor as he was far too quick to catch and small enough to weasel in behind the furniture out of reach.
Sebastian's outstanding intelligence and problem-solving skills are unparalleled. I could see the wheels in his head turning as I taught him behaviours and it was nothing short of fascinating watching him learn, even for his own purposes. He had taught himself to get atop the stove by climbing onto Nana's back, then onto a chair, and finally onto the stove (thank goodness, it was turned off when he did this). Nana's cooperation with his plan, to me, was just as entertaining. He had at another time taught himself to open the kitchen cupboards and raid all the pots and pans (which then needed to get rewashed). He certainly kept me on my toes with his antics, but I loved every minute of it.
At the end of those especially long and hard days we would have a movie night. With Nana at my feet and Kaiser on the couch next to me, curled up snugly in my arms or on my lap was Sebastian, who was at last exhausted from the day's adventures. Only occasionally would he stir to reposition himself before falling back asleep. These special evenings together, too, I would place in that category of moments I wish lasted forever.
Sebastian sleeping on my lap
Of course I could continue writing more about my Sebastian and his zany personality, but I am afraid that it would fill an entire book or two. And there are always those certain things about him that no words can truly describe and no sentences can convey; those things that you just learn and understand about someone by living and bonding with them. Though I may not be able to present these details to you, at least with this short introduction and video compilation you have some sort of idea of who Sebastian was. I hope by now you have at least gathered that Sebastian was a huge part of my life and a cherished family member, and if that is all you have gathered, I am satisfied. I love my little weasel immeasurably.
The events of this unfortunate ordeal began when I discovered diarrhea in Sebastian's litter box. For those of you who are unfamiliar with ferrets and ferret health, loose stools or diarrhea can be a symptom of a blockage or numerous other illnesses, some life-threatening, and therefore its presence should never be dismissed. Sebastian was taken to the veterinarian immediately. An examination was done and x-rays were performed, which confirmed that there was no blockage. He was sent home with medication for his diarrhea and I was told to call immediately if it did not clear up. When Sebastian did not respond to the medication, he was back at the vet's office. Another physical exam, blood-work, and other tests were done to explore the possibility of juvenile lymphoma as well as to gather additional information to aid in confirming his illness. He was put on further medication while his vet contacted other ferret specialists, who advised her to put Sebastian on the medication he had already been on.

Sebastian's front legs "knuckling over"
During this time, Sebastian lost his appetite and would only eat when fed by hand. Shortly afterwards he stopped drinking also, leaving me to give him water via syringe every 30 minutes to an hour. Also at this time, Sebastian's front legs began "knuckling over", a condition I was familiar with in dogs (called carpal flexural deformity) but never in ferrets. Sebastian was back at the vet's several other times and put on a calcium supplement, which I must say did ameliorate the problem in his front legs. I made an appointment for Sebastian to see another well-versed exotic vet (not local) and brought him in the following day. He was given an injection of subcutaneous fluids for rehydration and stayed at the clinic overnight while they did more x-rays and performed tests.
When I picked up Sebastian the next day he was sent home with additional medication, an IV unit, and a high quality food to aid in his recovery. The veterinarian told me once she received the results from the tests she could determine the best route to take for getting him better.
On the evening of June 7th as I put my little weasel to bed for the night, he lifted his head and looked into my eyes as if he was beseeching me to play with him. I tossed one of his toys in his direction, and to my surprise he gripped it with his teeth and pulled it into his bed. It was the first playful gesture I had seen of him since he took ill; I was filled with a new hope that he would get well again soon.
The following morning of June 8th, Sebastian made no attempt to arise from his comfortable hammock. I lifted him gingerly from his bed and before I attempted to hand-feed him his breakfast, I noticed something in his eyes. The way he looked at me.... it cut me like a knife. Some people say that animals can't talk, but I could never so strongly disagree as that moment when I looked into his eyes. It was as if I was looking right into his soul; like his eyes were speaking directly to me. And Sebastian's message to me was clear. He was telling me goodbye.
I held out my hand as I spoke softly to him and with his remaining strength he licked it twice, then slipped into a coma. I held him in my arms for some time before replacing him in his favourite hammock.
It was at around 4:30 that afternoon when Sebastian breathed his last. I have been overwhelmed with devastation since that moment. I was determined to discover exactly what had taken the life of my baby at such a young age and why. He deserved a life so much longer than the short six months he was given and it grieved me deeply that this had happened to him.
While I waited for the results from the previous tests, I had decided to get a post-mortem examination done for more information concerning his cause of death. On June 17th Sebastian's vet spoke with me regarding the initial notes gathered from the necropsy (which wasn't done locally). They had found a "large abdominal mass" located under his spleen; both of us were extremely puzzled as to why this went undetected and did not show up on any of the x-rays. She believes the location of it may have contributed to its remaining hidden, with his other organs blocking the view. They are currently examining the mass to determine whether or not it is cancerous and are doing other tests also. I am still awaiting the results.
To say I am vexed that we had not located the tumour while there was still time is an understatement.  Of course, it is quite possible that the surgery still would not have saved him, especially if he does test positive for lymphoma (I am waiting for the results).  I still wish there was more I could have done for him; it absolutely breaks my heart in pieces. I don't believe anyone can truly understand the immense pain I am in.
The most difficult stage in tragic events like these is adjusting to life without that special someone. The family now seems...... incomplete, for lack of a better word. Sebastian's vivacious personality and enthusiasm was infectious. He brought everyone to life with his spright, and that was one trait I truly admired about Sebastian. Even while he was ill, he never allowed the problems of life to influence his emotions. I wonder how different this world would be if we people learned to do the same.
In the evenings I habitually sit on the couch to play guitar, but it is no longer the same. The feeling of loneliness suddenly permeates my heart - it shatters when I look at that empty spot on the couch next to me where Sebastian would curl up to listen to the music. I close my eyes and envision that he is right there next to me, listening to the strings being plucked and drifting off into a sleep. Sometimes I feel that, somehow, he is listening. Even if he is not with me, physically, he still remains in my heart.
I cannot express how much I miss having Sebastian on my shoulders keeping me company and occasionally licking my ears. His pitiful whimper is a sound I shall never forget - a sound he made when he begged for a shoulder ride or when I was out of his sight and he was searching for me. Sometimes I think I hear it, then suddenly become aware of the silence in the house as if awakened from a daydream. Once again I become filled with loneliness.
I will be searching intensely for an item or one of Nana's toys only to discover it strategically hidden in the closet or under the couch. My heart breaks at the sight of it, and a part of me wants to let it remain where he placed it. But I know I must move on, and that is really the hardest part.
The world keeps on turning even in the event of such a tragedy. I look outside at the farmer plowing his field and my heart breaks knowing that Sebastian's special tunnel is now gone. Though it is true that there are no things in life that last forever, nothing can rob me of the memories Sebastian and I had made together. In the end, those are what really matter.
It can be hard during these especially difficult times to prevent one's self from becoming depressed, miserable, or angry. Though at times it may be tempting to do so, I instead remember Sebastian and his positive perspective on life. Even through the hard times, he always had a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye, and he lived his days to the fullest. He has inspired me to try to do the same.
Though you may not have known Sebastian personally as I have, I hope that he has touched you in some way. I hope that when you look at his pictures or watch his videos, you do not see him as "just another ferret".  He wasn't just a ferret.  He was Sebastian.
I will always love you, Sebastian. There will never be another like you. Thank you for filling my life with the joy and laughter that you brought to everyone you met. You are special, and I feel honoured to have been the one you shared those six months of your life with. There was nothing you could have done to make me love you more, nor to make me more proud of who you are.  Thank you for being you.
Rest in Peace, my little Sebastian Willoughby.
Sebastian Willoughby:  November 18, 2012-June 8, 2013
♥ My Little Shadow ♥


  1. ='( So sad. I actually started crying. I know all to well how it is to lose a pet that means so much to you. It feels like a part of your soul has dissapeared. It's heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm certain that somewhere in paradise Sebastian is looking down and watching over you. It sounds like he was a great ferret and a great friend. I'm sorry. May he rest in peace.

    ~Jennie, Selma & Lykke~(SelmaTheCrazyJRT on youtube)

  2. I'm so sorry for your loss! :'( The story of Sebastian has really touched my heart, and it must be heart breaking to lose him at such a young age. I hope you will soon get the results as to what happened! I can tell that Sebastian has really changed your life, and that the feeling when he left was a feeling beyond words. But I hope that Sebastian will continue to live in your heart forever, and although he may be gone, his soul is still with you. :) Rest in Peace, Sebastian. :(

  3. I'm so sorry about what happened to Sebastian. The way you described him in this Blog entry made me feel as if I had known him, too-he certainly wasn't "just another ferret" as you described. Sebastian touched your heart every day, and I know he will be with you forever. :)
    Especially so close to the passing of Viggo, I pray that you, your family, and Nana, Kaiser, and the rats will be okay. Rest in peace, Sebastian-you couldn't have done anything more to make your handler/trainer proud. (He seemed like the "World's Smartest Ferret" to me- it's amazing how many tricks you taught him.) Thank you for sharing about how much Sebastian touched your life; no one could've given him the life he deserved as well as you.

  4. I am so sorry to hear about Sebastian. I have watched his video on YouTube over and over again, and he seemed like such a joy to spend time with. I had been expecting him to live a long life, and when I found out that such a joyful life was cut short, I couldn't say anything but "No!"
    Reading your story has touched my heart. I felt a sense of comfort as I read where he looked into your eyes, knowing that he's in a better place. And sometimes, I wish that Sebastian had known me...
    No one will miss him as much as you do-no one will understand the pain you felt of losing him, or how much you loved him. He was by far my favorite of all your critters. Rest in peace, Sebastian.

  5. I'm crying so...
    I'm so sorry about Sebastian... I really know what's lose a pet... it's so hard.
    I always had animals and I lost a lot of them throughout my life. Dogs, cats, rabbits, birds... they're more than animals they're part of us.
    I know what's up in the morning and think in our best friend and then you remember that he don't be there anymore. You shared Sebastian's story with us and some way you could do a lot of people (I belong to this group) feel a little bit of your love to Sebastian you you could show us how amazing he was. So I will share the story of my little girl with you.

    Lilia was my first rabbit. She was not dwarf, she was a rabbit created to be eaten by humans. She had 2 months when I bought her and I brought her to home, her new home. She was amazing, always ready to please her human family. She was really sweet, happy and playful. She loved all the people, all the cats, all the dogs... I think she loved everything in her life.
    When I was sad was Lilia who made me laugh, when I was happy, Lilia made me more happy. She was my best friend, my little girl.
    Her blunders always made ​​me smile though some are a little more serious (she gnawed walls, important papers, shoes, furnishings, my homeworks... a lot of things). I sat in the sofa watching TV and she jumped to my lap to watch TV with me. Her favorite cartoons was Bambi. She was very important to me and my partner for five long and happy years. But one day she became sick and got worse day to day. One day I was playing Titanic's song in my flute and when I got home Lilia she couldn't breathe. I took her to the vet but she couldn't resist... I miss her so much... When I see her pictures I still cry and it's been 2 years since she died.

    Be strong.
    Sebastian wants you to be strong.

  6. I am so sorry about your wonderful Sebastian Willoughby.

  7. I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Every living being in this Earth is unique, but those who enlighten our days are trully special. Please don't be sad, Sebastian wouldn't want that. You are an amazing human being, because you truly love your friends with all your strengths, and put all of your efforts to make them happy. Death is not the end. Love is endless, immortal, and so is the will of our beloved ones. His body may not be here with us, but his will, will live forever in our hearts! Keep playing the guitar, for him! For you, for Viggo and for everybody else! He will always be at your side!!

  8. That is too sad. I am so sorry to hear that little Sebastian Willoughby passed away so soon and so suddenly. Such a sweet and rambunctious little fellow. Grieve we must but follow the example of these wonderful beings who pass through our lives and have the courage to go on loving.

  9. My sincere condolences. On May 14 I had to put my pet cat of 17 years down. I'm suffering so and understand your pain. Again i am very sorry.

  10. My cousin had a ferret that was aggressive. I have always said "Never ever a ferret." Then I saw Sebastian. And now after reading this I have never wanted a ferret so very much. He was far more than "just another ferret", he is the ferret that managed to change my view of ferrets, despite seeing them on videos, pictures and in real life. My heart cries for you and I am so happy you got to have him and so sorry you had to lose him so soon. Many hugs!

  11. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. After we lost our last boy ferret, we were afraid to get any more because they don't live long enough and you love them so deeply when they're with you.

    As fate would have it, our oldest child found a baby ferret outside of her workplace by a busy road and brought her home. She was dehydrated and weak, and infested with fleas and ticks. Our daughter nursed her back to health, got the ferret her shots and then asked us to adopt her. We couldn't say no.

    Now we have Ripley who talks with her eyes, speaks with her antics and makes our lives richer. Maybe someday, you too will have another carpet shark to share your life with.

  12. So sorry for your loss. Our furry friends are not with us long enough. Sebastian knows he was loved, he will be waiting for you at the bridge.

  13. For the love of god this is killing me. I just can't handle these news. I only knew Viggo through the blog of the unfortunate event, and it made me cry. But this...whenever I sad or mad, or even downright depressed, I went on youtube and searched in my favorites for Sebastian's video, "Meet the Newest Family Member!". That video always, ALWAYS made me smile, laugh. It always made me feel better, no matter what was wrong. So even if I didn't know Sebastian personally, I somehow knew him, I guess. And upon reading heart just can't take it. I'm here crying, and my family thought a family member died or something. Well, to me, it did. Sebastian always brightened up my days with just that single video, and now that I know that he's no longer with us, I will never be able to watch that video again. Hopefully he's in a better place now, and even if he's not there in physical form, he will always remain in your heart and memories. I am so, so sorry for your loss. And yeah, even though not even nearly as much, I somehow gt what you're going through..

  14. I'm so sorry I was crying while I was reading this.... Sebastian was loved deeply he'll be waiting for you.

  15. Be strong for Sebastian... I wish pets never died. You form such a strong bond and it's not fair to you to lose such an amazing animal. I am so really sorry.

  16. I grieve for your little one. As I read your blog entry, the tears just started to flow and haven't stopped. All animals are precious and are entrusted to our care by God. You are a wonderful Pet Parent, THE BEST, and did all you could for Sebastian, and he knew it. You were blessed with his joy and the best of him, he gave you not just his life, but his Heart as well.
    I believe there is a Heaven of sorts after we leave this life, and what will make it wonderful will be our Companions there, waiting for us. Know that Sebastian is still with you in Spirit and Heart, and you'll see him again, just as I will see my Tooey(s) 1 and 2, Smokey(s) 1 and 2, Bentley the Bengal, Sasquatch, Furby(s) 1 and 2, Rocky Roo, Chatty Kitty, Katy Kat, Little Tuffy Schmee, Cubby Wubbilous, Freddy Kruger, and many others I've loved and cherished all the days of my life. I have two cats now, my Cowboy Jack and my Injun Joe. They have entrusted me with their care and their hearts and are the Light in my Life and the Joy of my Days.
    I pray for your heart to heal, and for your memories of Sweet Sebastian to bring you both comfort and joy.
    You are not alone in your grief.

  17. I am so very sorry for your loss. His little life was full of love for having You! You have a very special gift, and although you'll always keep Sebastian in your heart, you have the capacity to give & share much love to future special family pets.

  18. I am so heartbroken for you, it was such a shock to read this. It's so unbearably tragic as you clearly deserved so much longer together.

    Sebastian was clearly such a happy and lucky ferret and it sounds like you have so many precious memories of him and gave him all of the time and love he deserved.

    It is truly indescribable how someone so small can become not only a part of your life, but also a part of you, but ferrets certainly manage it.

    Sleep peacefully Sebastian xxx

  19. I know a lot about how you feel. I had a black lab who we had to put down at the age of eleven. I had grown up with her and she watched over me like a mother. She has a little of pups before I was born and so she already had that "mother" instinct. So to her I was like another pup. Whenever I would cry, she would run to my crib and stick her head in and Iwould stop. She would lick my face and I would giggle and laugh. I was very young (and curious) so of course I put my hand in her mouth! She just sat there and let me explore haha! Whenever my dad would play "airplane" with me she would start to growl because she thought I was in danger:) I remember this one time when Iwas about 5, there was a woodchuck in our yard and at this point in my life I loved all living things and so Ididnt think it was dangerous. My dog had it pinned in a corner making sure it wouldn't get away while I was screaming at her saying "you're scaring him!" The woodchuck was snarling and growing at my dog and she did it right back. Anytime I would try to approach it she would snap at me, missing on purpose, so I would back away. Then my dad came out wondering what the noise was and he told me to get inside as fast as I can. Then he grabbed my dogs collar and pulled her back. The woodchuck bolted away and my dog tore after it howling and barking like mad. She was a great dog andher death was tragic. We were all pulling out of the driveway at once and she didn't know where to go and she had gotten her back leg rolled over by my mother because we didn't have to worry about her (she knew to stay away from cars and the road) and we took her to the vet immediatly. She had dislocated her hip badly and she needed surgery. The days following her surgery she was extremely solitary. Walking through out feild alone or hiding under our pine trees. In order for her to eat or drink we had to find her and force feed her. We knew she was in so much pain and we had to put her out of her misery and had her creamated. I was only about 7 at this time. I still miss her terribly and she will always have a special place in my heart. I cannot even begin to describe the amazing dog she was.
    I will always miss you Maggie.

  20. how did he pass? if you would like to tell me. I know some people would not want to talk about it.

    1. I had provided an update on my photostream on Flickr, although I hadn't felt up to writing one on here.
      I received the results from all his tests and his post-mortem examination at the beginning of July. He tested negative for juvenile lymphoma and the abdominal mass was not cancerous - in fact, there was no cancer found anywhere in his body. Fecal tests were done in addition to testing various body tissues. They diagnosed him with Ferret Systemic Coronavirus Infection (FSCV), a relatively new illness in ferrets which resembles the dry form of Feline Infectious Peritonitis (FIP) in cats. For this reason it is often called Ferret FIP. Unfortunately there is no cure for FSCV or FIP, and it is always fatal.

  21. I am truly sorry about what happened to Sebastian. After learning about what happened to him and how he touched your heart, I cannot agree better that Sebastian deserved to live longer. I understand how heartbreaking it is to go through this. Even though he is gone, you still gave Sebastian the short, yet enjoyable life he truly deserved. As he passed away, he was most likely content thinking how much his handler had done for him, and how much he had been loved. Sebastian is probably thanking you; you did the right thing by filling his life with joy and happiness. Sebastian will always be listening to the music you play, even if he is not physically next to you.
    Rest in peace, Sebastian. You were not "just another ferret." I think that NanaBorderCollie was very fortunate to have you in her life. :)

  22. I read your story,
    My eyes filled with tears,
    If I could have know him,
    I would have liked,
    To kiss his little face,
    It's hard, we are not above the animals,
    they are children, kids, adults, yes, HUMAN, and a Being!
    Sal Condoluci, Torrington, CT

  23. I'm so sorry for your loss. Though not knowing Sebastian for real, just reading your article on him made me knw him well. I actually cried a river reading it. I'm pretty sure Sebastian loves you as much as you love him. I love watching all your pets in action. They're all so well trained and smart. Especially Kai the bengal cat, it just amazed me how well trained a cat can be. It's actually my first time seeing such smart cat. Do take care of them, send my regards to them. XOXO :D

  24. I am crying right now. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my cat, Linai, a years ago. I know how it feels. It hurts so bad.
    You are a wonderful pet owner, and it shows. You really care about them, and take good care of them. I absolutely love your videos.

    My keyboard is acting up because of my tears in them. :..(

    Rest in Peace, Sebastian.
    Rest in Peace, Viggo.

  25. I'm sorry for your loss of your baby. I know how it feels but one thing that keeps me happy is that I know God has take them to Heaven, and they are more happy then they will ever be!

  26. Now that i see how much he meant to you, it makes me so sad that he is no longer with us. He clearly meant the world to you and you two had an awesome time together. I love the fact that you are slowly moving on while he is still in your heart. I started to tear up at the end and it was way to hard to keep that tear from dropping. Sebastian will live on in your heart forever and he is somewhere now, listening to your songs on the couch next to you. Sebastian is gone, but his memories are not.

  27. I am so sorry for your loss. Your videos have made me seriously look into getting a ferret though I am still researching costs, local vets, time..ect I saw someone comments on his passing and came here to find out what happened.

    I am so sorry! I am glad he was able to have a well cared for home with you while he was able. I'm sure he enjoyed everyday of his life he spent with you.

  28. I know to some degree what you feel. Our Lucy ferret was a special part of our family also. She lived a long life, for a ferret that is. She was almost 5 when she became ill and left us. She had such expressions that she would use on us at different times. It was as if she was speaking to us in her own ferret way. It broke our hearts when she left us but we treasure all the good times. Sebastian was a live wire and his loss at such a young age I know has been devastating to you. May the memories of your dear friend remain to comfort you as ours does of our dear Lucy.

  29. Wow. I literally cried after reading all of this, I don't know what to say. Sebastian seemed like a wonderful ferret.

  30. Her story touched me deeply with Sebastian. I know this is just one of thousands consolations that you received but I really feel sorry for this loss. I can not stop crying after seeing some of his realação with Sebastian and his farewell. Sebastian does not even have known, his joy inspired me greatly.
    - Gabriel (a new friend)

  31. This touched me so much. I couldn't hold myself from crying when I read Sebastians' story. I never said goodbye to my dog, and after 5 years from her loss this still haunts me and I suffer a lot. I dream of her sometimes.

  32. I know it may seem a little late to send you my condolences, but dog has recently passed away and when I read this all the little things my dog did popped up into my mind. I almost started crying when I read this, it is so touching. I am so sorry for your loss.

  33. Rest in Peace Sebastian, and I wish all the best to you, the person behind the user name "Nanathebordercollie' and your family. =)

  34. Rip Sebastian - your story made me cry ... So sad - but beautyful - what a big impression you made and stille do.
    I´ve lost my 3 cats and 2 dogs. I´m scared of loosing my best friend every day.
    Love them all - miss them all... And I try to give my little boy I have now the best life ever.
    I´m ill - and I am home everyday - so my pets are my life - my key to live through diseases - to smile, to laugh, to enjoy, to share, to care and to love.

    Dear Sebastian - I sent you hugs in heaven. Please say hi to my beloved pets up there. I know you´re all having a blast :)

  35. My name is Emma,I'm Italian and I've always been a great fan of your entire gang. I'm really really sorry for your loss and I'm saying this because I perfectly know to lose a pet, which for me it's not actually "just a pet" but part of my family. Reading your story made my eyes fill up with tears and made me think of long ago passed away dog, Paco, who died in my arms appearently for no reason. After I got back from school as usual,he jumped up on me and started barking out because he was so happy to see me. Then, in that same afternoon, I discovered a really strange and odd behavior shown by my boy: He suddenly stopped both eating and drinking and al he could do from that moment on was trying to rest and cough consequently throwing up blood. After that, Paco was taken to the vet and sent back home right after. I was, as you can surely imagine, astonished because I was mainly told that he was OK but then I found him dead while I was holding him in my arms as usual. It's been heart breaking and being honest, I wish I could have taken him back and let him life his puppy life with his family. Bye Bye Puppy boy. I will always miss you. R.I.P Paco.

  36. I am so sorry for your loss. I kept checking back to see if there were any new videos of him, but then I went to your clicker page and saw him under "In Memory." It's unfortunate that some live such a short life due to unexplained illnesses. I understand your pain. I can feel a knife going through the heart if I were to ever lose anyone so close to me. I bid Sebastian R.I.P. and many toys up there. I am sure Nana and Kaiser are there to cheer you up everyday. Hang in there!

  37. My heart goes out to you... Hi, I am looking at my typing through moist eyes welled with tears and with heart ache seemingly permeating my whole body - the paint and sorrow almost as palpable as if I have just lost a dear sweetest friend myself... I have lost many in the past, so I guess I can relate to your experience by connecting with those painful moments until now deeply buried in the crevices of forgotten corners of my dusty memory banks. Your writing is very vivid and touching and it certainly affected me greatly, as I was propelled to type a word of sympathy to you. I have never yet commented on any blogs until now... I have only recently started to harbor thoughts of having a pat again, as life circumstances might soon allow me to accommodate, and hopefully well care for, one again. I came across your videos on YouTube when researching on what dog breed would suit my personality and lifestyle. Your Nana very much impressed me and you by being such a great trainer... and then I discovered your video of Sebastian and wondered, if you posted some more, and that's how I found your blog and the note of his parting. How very sad! Very, very sad. I suspect that your sorrow had somehow diminished in intensity since last summer, but I bet that you still miss Sebastian and thoughts of him bring tender feeling to surface. Such is our human mind, thoughts intricately and closely interwoven with feelings and emotions that colour our experience no matter how far in the past our currently retrieved memory had formed. And so we have to suffer each time the memory surfaces, but hopefully less intensely. I sense you were a wonderful and caring companion to your ferret and he loved you just as much as you loved him. You seem to have affinity with animals, it's wonderful to see. My heart goes out to you and Sebastian... may he rest in peace... or have heaps of fun wherever he is! All the best to you and your pets, Zuzka xox

    1. Thank you, Zuzka, for your very comforting message of sympathy. It touched me deeply. My unwavering love for Sebastian is immeasurable, and thoughts of him continue to incite great pain and sorrow. To accurately articulate the immense difficulty of losing such a dear and cherished family member is an impossible task. He was my best friend, and one in a million. He remains eternally in my heart and my daily thoughts.
      Thank you again for your condolences and kind words.

  38. Sadly it was too hard to read to the end of this story as I lost one of my little furbabies last week and i am heartbroken! I hope Sebastian is looking after my baby who was also taken far to young <3

  39. He is super cute!I am sure you miss him alot.

  40. This story truly brought tears to my eyes. A friend linked me to this page, and I almost felt as though i'd lost someone myself. It's odd how a blog can make you feel that way..

    You should write a book about him.... It would be hard, but it would be amazing to hear about how you trained him and his life story :')

  41. That was amazing. It made my eyes go all teary.

    It just makes me think, my 6 year old border collie, Dot, who I love with all my heart won't live forever. Or my three mice. Never have I bonded with such tiny, furry creatures. ♥

    Best wishes for you and Sebastian.
    And I hope you can recover after this tragedy.

  42. Gosh, I started to cry :( Life is soo unfair :( You gave him amazing life, I think it would be hard to find better person to own a ferret! I see many people just keep them in cages, like fish in tank... They can't see their personality...

  43. I am sorry to hear about your loss of Sebastian, so soon after Viggo. His life was too short, yet I know you did your best with bonding and training him since you brought him home!
    I feel your pain; years ago my family had two dogs-one was older, and the other was a puppy. The older one had been with me since I was born, but unfortunately, she was very old through most of my lifetime, so when she was put down, I was too young to understand what it really meant. Now I miss her every time I think about her, and I wish that we could have known each other better.
    The other dog was a gift. She was full of energy, and she was always destroying my things. Back then, I hadn't known about Clicker Training, but she wasn't ever harmed of that I can remember. In the end, we returned her to a friend, and occasionally we will see photos of her, all grown up and happy. It warms my heart to see her like this, although it makes me wish she could have stayed with us longer.
    I wish you and your animal family well; your little animals will always be remembered.

  44. Thank you for sharing such a moving and heart touching account of your life with Sebastian. I haven't wept so hard since losing my beloved dog a year ago. I was so happy watching your videos with all of your critter pets, but especially Sebastian. Not long ago we fostered two sweet, energetic ferrets. They used to love to play with our little Chihuahua and hide everything they came across. So watching Sebastian's antics was very amusing and made me smile. Then I ventured over to your website and was just mortified to read he died so young at 6 months old. You taught him so much in so little time. Truly amazing and I can only imagine how profoundly difficult it has been not having him in your daily lives. Life does go on, but oh so differently.
    Bless you for being such an incredible parent.

  45. I'm so sorry about Sebastion! He lost his life way too soon. We also have had ferrets as our dear little friends. we had a total of 6 at one time. but in all we have lived with maybe 10 of them. None of them lived to the age of 7 though. Now we have Freddie. He is nearing the end . it's so sad. He is over 7 now and is almost at the end. he is living peacefully now in our bathroom. He doesn't move around much anymore and has lost most of his hair. He's a sweet gentle old man. He licks us and loves us but he's quiet now.
    he used to be so spunky. But old age takes so much away. I miss how he used to be. I was sitting with him and holding him the other night and crying because I know the end is coming and I don't look forward to it. I will miss him so much. He as well as all of our other ferret kids was so special to us. they are incredible parts of the family. So full of love. I will keep you in my thoughts. again I am so sorry for your loss!

  46. this definitely made me tear up. you sound like a fantastic owner who cares very much for her animals, loving them, playing with them, making their favorite food... so sorry to hear of your loss, but I think it's great that you're openly talking about it and remembering him in a positive light while being honest about the situation all at the same time. take care, and I look forward to hearing more about your animals

  47. I saw the video of him and I just thought he was the cutest lively little guy ever! He was such a cutie pie full of so much energy! When i saw that he had passed I sincerely was so sad about this, especially with him being such a young age. When I read this blog, I actually cried. This is such a touching blog and by what I saw, he was very loved and had a great life. So sorry for your loss. Our pets are part of our families and when you lose them its so devastating that it rips your heart apart.

  48. Very sad same when my dogs suki and tiko died the 2 huskys

  49. This made me cry. Keep on dreaming little Sebastian. Forever and always missed.

  50. But you still have Kaiser and nana! R.I.P Sabastian

  51. :( Sorry for your loss! Ferrets can be such caring/emotional individuals. I had two of them, and they can suffer from many ailments and not enough vets around to know much about them:( which makes it harder to find out what's wrong with them when sick:( Thank you for loving him like you did!

  52. I wish Seabastian would come back to you but he will always be in your heart.

  53. Poor Sabastian, I'm so sorry you had to loose your poor little pet. I know the feeling, I had two rats named Hannah, and Shelly they both died of old age, and I was devistated, I miss my little rats.

  54. Oh wow... I'm so sorry for your loss. RIP little Sebastian.

    I know that "look" you mentioned, the one that says "good bye". I've seen it twice now - once on my friends' horse(after her pasture-mate passed away of old age, the living one of the pair stopped eating & drinking, she was so depressed, she missed him like crazy, he was her "husband") and once on my own favourite rat - in my 30 years of pet ownership.... reading that bit sure hit home =(

  55. i'm sorry for your loss RIP little guy

    its so sad to read about your sebastian :'( :'(

  56. I ran across your Sabastian Ferret video some months ago and loved it so much I cried. It was so ''ferret perfect.'' On days when I needed a lift, I would watch it. Some mornings I would find myself with that music going in my head and visions of little Sabastian, well, being Sabastian and I would have to smile. I, too, am a ferret owner of 15 years but I must say, none of mine could ever equal that little boy in charm, exuberance personality. It was electric
    Then read that he had passed only months after you had him. I read his story and bawled uncontrollably. I cannot even imagine the loss you suffered, like a cannon blowing a huge hole through you. But one thing I do want to pass on to you. Remember, he was promised to you - it was no accident you two were destined to meet. He had a wonderful story to tell. And in the short time he was with you, you got to experience one of the most priceless treasures that was intrusted to you. You had all the means to capture this little spirit in all his glory for the world to see. I don't think anyone else could have done that. But you did and for that the world knows all about this little guy. He is still with us all and will never be forgotten. Many thanks for making his short little life a huge shining star in all our hearts.

    1. Thank you for your kind words. It brought tears to my eyes. Sebastian was my faithful little shadow -- my best friend -- and it warms my heart knowing how many people he has touched and is continuing to touch with his criminally short life.

  57. I am so sorry about Sebastian. I still don't know why people or animals pass away at such a young age, but I guess it was just his time. It's not really fair what happened to him because he was so young, so happy, just so full of life. He might be gone, but he isn't gone, he's in your heart, and definitely mine. He is in a better place, but he will be missed. ~ RIP Sebastian the ferret~

  58. Sorry if my english it s not good , im from Paris , France .
    I watch Sebastian's vidéo over and over again. That little ferret full of joy , pût a smile on my face every time I feel sad. I guess it s like that , always the best gone first.

  59. I cried reading Sebastian's story. I almost felt your pain through the story. You guys will meet again someday.
    Stay strong.

  60. Greece/Athens
    This video will always be in my heart with Sebastian!
    Sebastian is in peace!

  61. Man, I haven't cried in so long, but reading this finally got to me. The poor little fellow must have loved you so much.